Friday, January 29, 2016

Slip Slidin' Away

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5_H-LY4Jb2M

Slowly but surely, I am making progress on the audiobook version of "dayrealing - the trials and tribulations of a stressed-out teacher in a spaced-out world... in ten tortuous, torturous hours".

I spent ten tortuous, torturous hours trying to decide whether to put a comma between "tortuous" and "torturous". Pacing is very important, you see, and, by a happy coincidence, the final audiobook will run to exactly ten hours if all my Excel sheet calculations are correct; and if I get my pacing, breathing and screaming right.

Having pointless objectives in life keeps me going. And yet, who cares if the final running time is 9 hours 37 minutes or 10 hours 23 minutes? Well, I do for starters because "in ten tortuous, torturous hours... and twenty-three minutes" sounds pretty crap; to my ears, at least.

I hope to have everything ready and on the market by April at the latest. This depends in part on whether and/or when the Holy Trinity of audiobooks, ACX-Audible-Amazon, approve my submission. I'm quietly confident they will, but it's by no means a certainty.

Here’s a rather silly excerpt from Chapter 41, "Don't Fear The Reaper":


Transcribing the screams of a reluctant birdman hurtling headfirst down a water slide at the speed of darkness is never easy. Colin’s went something like this:

‘W-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-h!
  W-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-h!
    W-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-h!
    W-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e!
  W-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-h!
W-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-h!
O-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w!
  O-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h!
    O-n-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o!
    O-y-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-s!
  O-s-h-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-t!
O-w-o-w-o-w-o-w-o-w-o-w-c-h!’

The seagull had landed.




If you would like to hear what was left of my voice after that scream, please click here for the unedited version:



If you would like to download the first hour or so of "dayrealing", please click here:


If you would like a free copy of the audiobook when it comes out, please click here. Alternatively, contact me via Facebook or the comments below this post if you prefer.

Thanks for reading and/or listening!

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Inside my recording studio

View from my recording studio