Friday, September 23, 2011
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
Wrote - and recorded - an entire novel at the weekend. Not exactly Shakespeare, but you've got to start somewhere:
Thursday, June 2, 2011
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
Celebrated getting my CD player back yesterday (complete with poxy little car) by going for a spin in the country - sounds better than "driving like a maniac because I was late for my class" - and listening to my wonderful Roxy Music / Bryan Ferry compilation:
Saturday, May 14, 2011
Saturday, May 7, 2011
I had a cheese, ham and red pepper roll; she had chorizo, eggs and chips. Halfway through our meal, there was a power-cut, and out came fork 'andles. Four candles, sorry. With apologies to The Two Ronnies for blatant plagiarism.
I've never known a place take so long to produce the bill, but neither of us was complaining. On the contrary, the surprise element made it quite a delightful evening.
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
Haven't been able to blog for a while; have had loads of probs with laptop, internet, not to mention this Yola blog itself, which is really difficult to write in. Anyway, plenty to smile about too, not least having agreed a publishing deal for dayrealing with my favourite man right now, Tim Roux of Night Publishing. I won't bore you with the details. Yet.
Mick was naturally worried, therefore, when Isa walked into class and sat down without so much as a ‘Hello’. He soon saw what the problem was: a great big spot on Isa’s chin. Wishing Isa’s spot a short-lived life, Mick proceeded to tell Roald Dahl’s delightful tale about a very special girl called Matilda. Today, however, nobody seemed to be laughing.
Mick woke up the next morning with a throbbing pain at the end of his nose. Needless to say, the kids thought this was hilarious; especially Isa, whose spot had disappeared miraculously overnight. This reversal of fortunes inspired Mick’s Universal Spots Theory, which states that “the total number of spots in the world at any given moment is a constant”.
So next time you wake up with an ugly spot on your hooter or wherever, remember that some poor soul elsewhere is celebrating that they have just lost theirs. And smile.
Friday, April 15, 2011
Before I go any further, however, a word of warning: BCP can seriously improve your waistline, so please don’t try this at home unless you’re barking mad and/or fat. All I can say is that the BCP diet has always worked for me. Basically, it means you have to avoid anything that begins with B, C or P – hang on, there’s more – if and only if you would normally gobble it down like there’s no tomorrow. In my particular case, this means:
NO beer, biscuits, bread or buns
So, for example, I could still eat bananas, beetruit, cabbage, cauliflower, pears and petrol if I wanted to – because I rarely do. Besides, have you seen the price of petrol these days?
Finally, I should also point out that I have decided to spell koffee with a K until I decide to call an end to OST. Life without koffee? Now that would be krazy!
Saturday, April 9, 2011
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
Here is Greg in fine form (presumably written before he got offered a contract):
Dear Literary Agent:
Thank you for your recent rejection notification, but I am afraid that I cannot accept it at this time.
Please understand that I receive a high volume of rejection notifications and must be highly selective in choosing those that I am able to handle.
The acceptance of rejection notifications is a highly subjective process; the fact that I have decided to pass on your rejection in no way signifies that your rejection writing is sub-par. In fact, I strongly encourage you to continue rejecting the queries and submissions you receive each day, and wish you luck in all of your hope-crushing and dream-dashing endeavors.
Saturday, April 2, 2011
If you click on Profile, you get an even bigger picture of yourself, and suddenly the only posts you can see are yours. There are also a few other differences to the Home page: it tells me when my birthday is (always good to know), and suggests I could do with more friends, together with pictures of "people you may know" who I have never heard of in my life. I suppose "people you may know" is short for "people you may know one day".
Monday, March 21, 2011
So, anyway, I wasn't totally surprised to find this morning that my company has now taken maintenance management "to the next level". The good news was my request for a corkboard on my office wall had finally been approved; the bad news was I had to do it myself (see photo). Oh, and could I "please return the hammer" once I'd got my corkboard up against the wall?