Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Everything I Do, I Do It For You

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZGoWtY_h4xo

What's that bag doing in the hall?
Nothing, Daddy.
I mean, Why did you leave it there?
I had to leave it somewhere, Daddy.
Is it your gym bag?
Yes.
Are the clothes for washing?
Yes.
So why don't you put the clothes in the washing basket?
Because you always do it for me, Daddy.
Well, I'm not going to do it this time.
You'll see.
And what about that rucksack?
What about it, Daddy?
Well, can't you take it to your bedroom?
What for? I'm going to need it tomorrow.
Do you have an answer for everything, darling?
Yes, Daddy. When will dinner be ready?
Don't change the subject.
Don't do too much for me. I'm not very hungry . . .

Monday, September 27, 2010

Life On Mars?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v--IqqusnNQ

What's your favourite month, Igor?
My favourite month?
Yes, your favourite month.
Owgost, of course.
Owgost?
Yes, Owgost.
When's Owgost, Igor?
When's Owgost?
Yes. When's Owgost?
When?
Yes. When?
After Julie.
Julie?
Yes, Julie.
And when's Julie?
When's Julie?
Yes. When's Julie?
You no know?
No, I no know. Don't know, sorry.
After Junie.
Junie?
Yes, Junie.
OK, thanks, Igor. Alright, everyone repeat after me
AFTER ME.
JUNE. Everyone?
JUNE.
Good. And after June comes JuLY. JuLY. Everybody?
JuLY.
Good. And then the best month: AUgust. "OR"gust. Everyone?
AUgust.
Excellent! June, JuLY, AUgust. Together, please.
JUNE, JuLY, AUgust.
That's better! Now then, Igor . . . So what's your favourite month?
Owgost. I say you!
Never mind, Igor. How about you, Janire?
How about?
What's your favourite month?
Mars.
Mars?
Yes, Mars.
That's a planet, Janire.
Sorry?
Mars is a planet.
Sure? . . .

Thursday, September 16, 2010

Won't Give In

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pVtBV5UwI6Y&feature=related

Hello?
Hello. Mr Craphead?
Could be.
I'm ringing from Shitty Telephone Company, and was wondering whether you would like to be ripped off for the rest of your life?
I'll think about it. Bye.
Mr. Craphead? . . .

Hello?
Hello. Mr. Craphead?
Might be.
I'm ringing from Shitty Bank, and we notice that your tax return was unfavourable this year. Does this worry you?
Not in the slightest.
Oh.
Sorry?
I said, "Oh". You're supposed to say, "Yes". I don't have a script for "No" . . .